If you've been involved in a relationship for anywhere between 3-5 years and he still don't have a job...then my sister, why are you still with him? If you're always crying and feeling sad on the inside and he's not there to comfort you....then what is his purpose of being in your life? If you have children and he doesn't have anything to do with them...then why do you want to marry him? Some women are so desperate for love...they'll minimize their own self worth just to keep a man. They will begin to feel deprived of their individuality, as if there's an emptiness which lives deep inside of them. They have a fear of being alone, so they will settle for anything to have a mate. It bugs me when I see a weak woman who's putting up with crap throughout the entire relationship because she's afraid to face the fear of being "alone."
First of all, there isn't anything wrong with being by yourself. Don't believe the hype...people are always trying to paint a picture which isn't really there. They will attempt to get you to remain under the mentality of saying it sucks to be alone, when it's actually a smart way to avoid the headaches of dealing with a dude who doesn't care about you. Think about it, wouldn't you rather have your self respect, at all? If you let a dog (man) steal away your self esteem....then what do you have left? You can't give to your loved ones anything positive to say because an unhealthy relationship has a negative affect not only on you, but your kids as well. It causes your family to become concerned about the well being of your stability from a mental and emotional standpoint. Also, there have been cases of women committing suicide because of being mistreated or abused during an unhealthy relationship. If you're having thoughts of killing yourself...or someone else, it's best to remove yourself out of that situation before things begin to spiral out of control. If you're tired of fussing, fighting, and arguing...then it shouldn't be any reason for you to continue to remain in that situation.
Don't you know GOD will give you the strength to leave him? He will provide a way for you to get out of there....and fast! You should also lean on other resources such as; a close family member, a neighbor, a friend, or the police. You have to plan your escape in a secret manner...and you also have to believe that you're capable of following through with it! If you decide to muster the nerve to get out...DON'T LOOK BACK!! If you continue to look ahead...this will help you to remain focused on the reason why you left him in the first place.
You should try to practice the strength of Tina Turner (portrayed by actress Angela Basset in the 1994 film, "What's Love Got to Do With It?") who was trapped inside of an abusive relationship. If you're familiar with this movie, it will help you to understand the battles of a woman who suffered over twenty years of mental and physical abuse yet she finally gained enough power to get out of the relationship! If she could do it, then guess what???? You can too!!!!
Enjoy this powerful song by the beautiful songstress, Ms. Tina Turner. She's telling her own story on this one: